I can’t help but pace, mewing and growling softly to myself.
For all I’m supposed to be happy and carefree, for all I’m supposed to be… I find myself just…
lonely.
No… not lonely, how can I be? I’ve always got people to talk to, I just got handfasted, I’ve got my best friend back from the grave, there shouldn’t be anything I crave. And yet, I do. There’s someting, something very deep, that’s missing. I can’t put it to words, it scares me even picking it out from the cacophany in my head that there’s something off.
So what is it? What is this need I have, what is this desire? Why am I so greedy, why am I so above things that I should think I deserve this happiness when I should be happy with what I have. A bright man once told me, it’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you have. Well, I do have what I want, and want what I have, to a point. But then the height of greed, of hubris… I want more. Nobody really deserves perfect happiness, I’m not special in that regard.
Blegh. I’m babbling. And to no really good end… just babbling.
I’m just lonely enough to let my babbling loose on the big wide universe.
